PUBLISH YOUR WORK AS A COMMENT!
DIRECTIONS: READ " FRIENDS, GOOD FRIENDS AND SUCH GOOD FRIENDS" BY JUDITH VIORST
ARISTOTLE WROTE " WITHOUT FRIENDS NO ONE WOULD CHOOSE TO LIVE, THOUGH HE HAD ALL OTHER GOODS" ARISTOTLE (GREEK PHILOSOPHER 384-322 BC)
ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS AND PUBLISH YOUR RESPONSE
THIS WILL BE EVALUATED AS A PUBLISHED WRITING PIECE
TOTAL OF 3 PARAGRAPHS: Question FOUR (ONLY) is broken up into 2 categories. One for the males in class and one for the females. Please respond accordingly.
1. WHAT IS THE VALUE OF FRIENDSHIP AS IT RELATES TO THE SELF?
2. DEFINE FRIENDSHIPS AS SEEN THROUGH VIORST'S ARTICLE. Is there a specific category of friendships mentioned by Viorst that you found to be interesting? Which ones? Why?
3. HOW DOES FRIENDSHIP DEFINE OUR SENSE OF SELF?
4. (THE MALES IN CLASS ONLY) HOW WOULD VIORST CHANGE THE CATEGORIES OF THE ESSAY IF IT WAS DIRECTED AT YOUNG MEN IN THE SAME AGE CATEGORY? WOULD HER EXAMPLES BE DIFFERENT?
4. ( FEMALES ONLY) Is it possible that there are friends who may know us better than we know ourselves? If so, how do our friendships become part of our sense of belonging?
5. PROVIDE 2 CONCRETE EXAMPLES FROM THE ESSAY THAT RELATE TO THE THEME OF TRANSFORMATION AND SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS. EXPAIN.
On Veterans Day, take the time to salute the men and women in our armed forces who fought and continue to fight for our freedom! Have a Wonderful Weekend! See you next THursday!
Alexander Riley
ReplyDeleteFriendship is a word to describe a feeling about another person. Due to this the definition of a friend can be many different things when based off of the individual. For example due to my past experiences I believe to call someone a true friend has to mean a lot. If I get my self in a situation and know definitely I can rely on that person for help because they actually care about me and they know I would do the same for them then that person is a true friend in my book. It has to be someone who I can talk freely with out the worry of being judged. That’s a value a friend can mean to someone but again when it comes to the individual it can vary. So because of this based off of Viorst’s article it can be defined as; A friendship is just a word to describe many variations of the same thing between two people that like each other.
What Viorst explains about friendship is true, all of the types of friendships can exist at the same time. But not everyone sees it like that so again using the example of someone who takes the word friend seriously my say some of her examples of friendships should not be called a friend just an aquatic but would not say there are a friend just as someone they know, like the couples one. This leads to, based off of this our feelings on what a friend is and could be says a lot about our self’s. Going in the opposite direction someone could understand that a friend just a small acquaintance once a month or something deeper that goings back from when they are children. Based on to individual someone might not call someone a friend until they have proven them self’s or may not trust a lot of people so don’t share a lot when they meet. Based on what is valuable in a friendship shows your self on what you like and how you see things.
When it comes to the article if it was written for men I believe there are two sides that it would be written. The stereotypical way where if it was a man we would not be so picky and complex. It would be more about anyone you hang out with and the more important friend of a bro who has shared past and meaningful experiences that has created a bond. The other way that I think is everyone is honest is it would be mainly the same. And like what I said before it would even be the same when compared to self meaning of what a friend is and the different types of people.
Friendship is a word to describe a feeling about another person. Due to this the definition of a friend can be many different things when based off of the individual. For example due to my past experiences I believe to call someone a true friend has to mean a lot. If I get my self in a situation and know definitely I can rely on that person for help because they actually care about me and they know I would do the same for them then that person is a true friend in my book. It has to be someone who I can talk freely with out the worry of being judged. That’s a value a friend can mean to someone but again when it comes to the individual it can vary. So because of this based off of Viorst’s article it can be defined as; A friendship is just a word to describe many variations of the same thing between two people that like each other.
ReplyDeleteWhat Viorst explains about friendship is true, all of the types of friendships can exist at the same time. But not everyone sees it like that so again using the example of someone who takes the word friend seriously my say some of her examples of friendships should not be called a friend just an aquatic but would not say there are a friend just as someone they know, like the couples one. This leads to, based off of this our feelings on what a friend is and could be says a lot about our self’s. Going in the opposite direction someone could understand that a friend just a small acquaintance once a month or something deeper that goings back from when they are children. Based on to individual someone might not call someone a friend until they have proven them self’s or may not trust a lot of people so don’t share a lot when they meet. Based on what is valuable in a friendship shows your self on what you like and how you see things.
When it comes to the article if it was written for men I believe there are two sides that it would be written. The stereotypical way where if it was a man we would not be so picky and complex. It would be more about anyone you hang out with and the more important friend of a bro who has shared past and meaningful experiences that has created a bond. The other way that I think is everyone is honest is it would be mainly the same. And like what I said before it would even be the same when compared to self meaning of what a friend is and the different types of people.
Friendship is based upon who you associate yourself with. It is about the way that people interact with each other, whether it is more intimate or more causal. I believe that people find themselves when they settle down on a group of friends that have similar interests and goals. The people we surround ourselves with help to identify us and shape our lives in a more positive way, as one would hope.
ReplyDeleteIn the article, Viorst discusses friendships as many different types. She sets up categories of friendship that all people experience. Each experience in our lives comes along with a different group of friends. But, she does state that no matter what friends are always there to support each other and celebrate our joys. I found the cross-generational group interesting because it is a sort of relationship between mother-daughter. I have always found this to be something that I do not agree with. I understand that some mothers are very close with their daughters, but I believe that in order for parenting to be effective, a mother and daughter bond, though difficult to be broken, it may not be healthy when it is friendlier. All of these different subtypes of friendship though, do help us to relate to people more. The people we spend more time with, helps us to find our sense of selves. This can show us who we want to be, or who we do not want to be at all. The different experiences and relationships that you get into, help to guide us in a way that will shape our lives for the future. In this article though, I believe that the author would make many less categories if it were related to young men in this generation. I do not believe that males experience friendships the ways that women do. For example, I do believe there are such things as historical friends and cross-roads friends, which the examples would be similar, but I do not think that males have friends in the speical-interest groups. Males do tend to accompany themselves with people of similar interest. But, I do think that they are much more accepting than females when friends do not necessarily take interest in the same things.
The men who are friends category can relate to transformation and social relationships. Being a college student now, I understand that males and females can be friends and that this is something we come to understand as we grow up and mature. I also notice that it is normal social behavior to be friendly with girls. For example, that article states that "these friendships can be just as close and as dear as with those which we form with women." This is important because for a majority of our lives, we tend to not open up to the opposite sex. So by being able to do this, we have most likely become more open and accepting of ourselves and who we are, which will helps our social relationships flourish. She even states that "the sexual part, though very small, is always some, is always there." This particular quote I find to be very interesting because it talks about who even though people of opposite sex may be friends, there is still a sexual part and can ultimately affect other more important relationships. I think that people may have a difficult time addressing this which can cause unnecessary strain. Although, these are the types of relationships that help us grow and mature.
Friendship is based upon who you associate yourself with. It is about the way that people interact with each other, whether it is more intimate or more causal. I believe that people find themselves when they settle down on a group of friends that have similar interests and goals. The people we surround ourselves with help to identify us and shape our lives in a more positive way, as one would hope.
ReplyDeleteIn the article, Viorst discusses friendships as many different types. She sets up categories of friendship that all people experience. Each experience in our lives comes along with a different group of friends. But, she does state that no matter what friends are always there to support each other and celebrate our joys. I found the cross-generational group interesting because it is a sort of relationship between mother-daughter. I have always found this to be something that I do not agree with. I understand that some mothers are very close with their daughters, but I believe that in order for parenting to be effective, a mother and daughter bond, though difficult to be broken, it may not be healthy when it is friendlier. All of these different subtypes of friendship though, do help us to relate to people more. The people we spend more time with, helps us to find our sense of selves. This can show us who we want to be, or who we do not want to be at all. The different experiences and relationships that you get into, help to guide us in a way that will shape our lives for the future. In this article though, I believe that the author would make many less categories if it were related to young men in this generation. I do not believe that males experience friendships the ways that women do. For example, I do believe there are such things as historical friends and cross-roads friends, which the examples would be similar, but I do not think that males have friends in the speical-interest groups. Males do tend to accompany themselves with people of similar interest. But, I do think that they are much more accepting than females when friends do not necessarily take interest in the same things.
The men who are friends category can relate to transformation and social relationships. Being a college student now, I understand that males and females can be friends and that this is something we come to understand as we grow up and mature. I also notice that it is normal social behavior to be friendly with girls. For example, that article states that "these friendships can be just as close and as dear as with those which we form with women." This is important because for a majority of our lives, we tend to not open up to the opposite sex. So by being able to do this, we have most likely become more open and accepting of ourselves and who we are, which will helps our social relationships flourish. She even states that "the sexual part, though very small, is always some, is always there." This particular quote I find to be very interesting because it talks about who even though people of opposite sex may be friends, there is still a sexual part and can ultimately affect other more important relationships. I think that people may have a difficult time addressing this which can cause unnecessary strain. Although, these are the types of relationships that help us grow and mature.
Friendship is the groundwork which relationships form. To truly know whom you are as a person you have to take a look at who you have surrounding you, your friends say a lot about yourself. Friendships and yourself go hand in hand basically, for the most part all your friends usually have the same interest, ambitions, and goals in life. To truly relate to one-self you must have friendships. Friendship defines our sense of self by showing us who we really are on the inside; our friends act as a mirror for us in ways. When we look bad our friends look bad and when they look bad we look bad and vice versa. It takes most people some time to truly figure out if the people they hangout with are the ones they want be associate themselves with and have their image plastered on them.
ReplyDeleteAccording to Viorst’s article there are many types of friendships not just the ones we know of. To be a friend to somebody you don’t have to see him or her everyday of even every month. Sometimes there are those friends that you wont see for years and soon as you meet up it’s like nothings ever changed. One category Viorst mentions in her article is historic friends; I found this one to be interesting because I believe that almost every single person has a friend like this. Somebody you were once very close with and then drifted apart for various reasons and then even later in life if you see them again it’s just like good ol times. Viorst says in one of her statements “Some of the women we call our friends we never see alone” I feel like what she is trying to say here is true for men and women, more so for women but can apply to both. She’s saying that there are friends in your “group” that if you were to see them outside of your group that It would be awkward even though you see them multiple times a week. And I think this says a lot about the different types of relationships with people you can have.
Say Viorst was to write this article in the perspective of a young man, I believe some of her examples would change but most of the categories would stay the same. Per example for the historic friends instead of just knowing each other or being neighbors I think it would be a different bond, maybe their bond was made watching football every Sunday or playing video games after school and building memories that way. Also the convenience friends category I believe is much less existent with men, most of the time men are friends with the same people their whole lives when girls usually go through lots of groups of friends. “And we might tell a very good friend that the reason we got so mad in that fight that we slept on the couch had something to do with that girl who works in his office. But it is only to our very best friends that we are willing to tell all, to tell what's going on with that girl in his office” (Viorst’s). What Viorst is saying here really says a lot about friendship, depending on how close you are to a person you will go deeper and more intimately into a story. If you are telling story to some person you met in class you may leave out the details as to why you got upset when the girl you liked sat next to him but to your best friend you might tell him something much more and how much you really care for this girl and how it truly hurt you.
Friendship is a big value because friendship is a strong bond with two or more people. Friends that you spend time with, make memories with. Friends that you laugh, smile and have a blast with. Friends that love you for who you are and don’t want you to change. Friends are the people in your life that help you have fun at events and that bring out the best in you and also make a bad day into a good one again. Friends are the people that you count on and having all the qualities of being a friend to two to more friends creates a friendship that never ends and that keeps on growing with careens, love and laughter.
ReplyDeleteViorst’s definition of friendship is “that there all different kinds of friendships that can exist at the same. We label friends like we have those friends that are acquaintance and we have those friends that your good friends and there is your true friends that you love seeing everyday and love having fun with them. Friendship take time to grow and there many levels and it great to get to know new people so then you can form new friendships. Yes, it is possible that there are friends who may know us better than we know ourselves. They are the rare friends that we have, it hard to find those specific friends but they do exist. It take time though. These friends are the one that listen to you clearly and remember the information that you said. The friend that want to get to know you better as well to you to get to know them as well. Having similar hobbies and know their interests etc. The friend that truly cares about you and that remember moments that you forget that happen. When you are compatible with someone or when you meet someone you can sense the friendship is going to be the point the two people will be friends for a while you know that it possible to have that person that know you better than yourself. It rare to find but that specific friendship between two people are define as best friends. But it great to start a friendship as friends first and see it grow it beautiful to experience with friends that actually love you and care for you.Transformation and Social Relationship of friendship is when you have those friends that were not so close to you as first but with getting to know each other and hangouts the friendship end up growing into something specials. So. a transformation between two people and starting a new friendship together is see that you transformation yourself for the better. Make you become a better person and to have more friends in your life is good to have. Not bad to have a lot of friends. Being loyal, kind and trusting etc comes with a friendship but maintain it and seeing it grow within the friendship is worth to be beautiful. Social relationship is the friendship between group of friends or between a man and woman. It all starts with getting to know each other and experiment how you are with them by hangout, going out to eat, parties etc. That person that listens, understand, and enjoy to talk you is g great way to start friendship. Friendship that click automatically is a great feeling to have and knowing that with time of the friendship to grow you can start trusting this friend and then it can lead to more. Overall having a great friendship is special to have. Growing and learning new things together and learning something new about friend is great to know.Within a group of friends with a great friendship the bond between everything is healthy and fun. Still getting to know each other day by day is make the friendship stronger and the bond still be amazing.
Friendship holds significant value to one's self because it allows individuals to express themselves, confide to others, and deal with difficult situations. Without friendship, life can be unbearable because the powerful friendship can dictate how we'll go about our daily lives; those with good friendships will likely have a better self esteem which allows the individual to feel more comfortable and fulfilled in their life. Friendship as it pertains to this article is simply being in similar situations and upbringings based on a variation of intimacy levels endured with the relationships. In Viorst's article "Friends, Good Friends and Such Good Friends", friendship is defined through the level of intimacy and is also a bond that has been developed between individuals due to various circumstances such as having similar interests. A type of friendship that I found interesting was crossroads friends because their relationship was forged within such a short time yet that bond was strong enough for them to stay connected as if they grew up together.
ReplyDeleteFriendship defines our sense of self by allowing individuals to explore themselves through various likes and dislikes that allows them to find those who can relate that results in the formation of trust. Friendship is a core building block in the discovery of ourselves because we find our niche within a social group that changed of mindset and provides us with the feeling of acceptance. If Judith Viorst were to write a follow up article using the perspective of a young man as opposed to a young woman, I believe that the examples provided would be the same however not every category of friendship discussed in the article would apply. I believe that males and females experience friendships differently due to the significant difference in intimacy levels. For example, cross-generational friends would not be the same for a young male because after being away for so long that friendship just becomes awkward and burdensome; friendship has essentially been lost due to the lack of intimacy. I feel that males don't necessarily experience the relationship special-interest friends because after taking part in the same interest, a bond is formed after getting to know the person and that "special-interest" becomes irrelevant therefore paving the way for a meaningful friendship to emerge.
In Viorst's article "Friends, Good Friends and Such Good Friends" relates to both the theme of transformation and social relationships. For example, in the category " Men who are friends", Lucy's friendship with a man evolved into a strong bond even though they weren't a couple because there was care and trust with minimal flirting that made the relationship fun. "He offered himself for talking and for helping. And when someone died in his family he wanted me there"(Lucy 462). Another friendship that is formed within "Cross-generational friends" is the "daughter-mother" or "mother-daughter" relationship that causes friends to have a familial relationship with more trust and openness. For example, Evelyn's friend is the same age as her mother yet she shares more personal information, as well as various interests while both gain valuable benefits. "What I get from her is the benefit of her experience. What she gets—and enjoys—from me is a youthful perspective. It's a pleasure for both of us"(Evelyn 461). These themes are evident in Judith Viorst's article because it shows how various relationships can evolve into a powerful bond amongst individuals.
Friendship as it relates to self is a person’s outlook and how they view people. Friendships as defined in Viorst’s essay are unions based on a purpose. Every person who has a friend uses that friend for their needs. I was interested in one type of friends; cross-generational friends. I was interested in cross-generational friends because I have a friend who I hang out with who is older than I am. I hang with him because as an older person he has more experience in life than I do. In addition, when I go to family gatherings, I hang out with people younger than I am. I hang around people younger than me at family gatherings because younger children are the future.
ReplyDeleteFriendship defines our sense of self because when you are speaking you usually do not hear what you are saying, so it is always empowering to hear a second opinion. As humans, we are sometimes immune to the world around us. We hear what we want to hear, see what we want to see. Most of us do not know what actions we are portraying until we are told by another person. Friendships give people a sense of self because friends give constructive criticism on how you act, which sounds authentic because you know that person cares about you.
If Viorst’s essay were to focus on young men more, I think she would include what I call the swerve effect. The swerve effect is when you see someone you have known for a long period of time ignore your presence. I realize guys tend to ignore each other a little more than girls ignore each other. Guys also tend to open up more as they get older, but girls are naturally open-minded. Two concrete examples from the essay that relate to the theme of transformation and social relationships are crossroads friends and cross-generational relationships. Crossroads friends are related to transformation and social relationships because the next time you see your crossroads friends you are already adapted to a new environment. When you see your crossroads friends the next time it reminds you of your upbringing and the transformation you made. Cross-generational relationships are related to social relationships and transformation because they are intertwined to mean change over time. Even though, you are both years apart from each other you both have knowledge that will transform each other into a different of thinking, seeing, and hearing the world around you, which ultimately is the point of having a friend.
The value of friendship differs as it relates to the self. There are some friendships that have great value and are treasured from the start. They are lasting relationships that are treated with love and care. We trust and value those friendships and the friendship is unconditional. Then there are the friendships where the friends are just acquaintances that come and go and have no real or little value and no lasting attachment to the self. Then there is the in between friendship that although we have genuine care for this friendship we do not become close. The particular value of a friendship depends on who you are, at what point in your life you meet and what category your friendship falls into. Friendship is seen differently and valued differently by each individual.
ReplyDeleteFriendships as seen through Viorst’s article are specific not only to gender but at what point and time the relationship was formed. All the categories can co-exist at the same time giving us the opportunity to explore different friendships. The friendships we form, no matter what category they are from, mold us into who we were, who we are, and who we will become. With different friendships we can be different people. With some friends we can be crazy and funny while with others we can be more reserved and formal. No matter what category of friendship it is we value the experience it has brought us. I found the historical friends group interesting because these friends have known you since you were young and even though your paths may go in different directions you can still sit down and have conversations with them even if it has been a long time since you have seen each other. You accept each other and understand each other without even thinking about it. The friendships we have define our sense of self because they are a big part of who we are. We become friends with people who are most like us. We surround ourselves with friends of similar interests and morals. There are friendships that can be very good for us and yet there are friendships that could be very toxic. Your choice of friends is a reflection on who you are and who you choose to be around.
I believe Viorst would keep the categories of the essay the same if it was directed at young men. Men have the same categories of friends. The examples may be different; they may have the convenience friend who at the gym spots them while they are lifting weights and the special interest friend who goes to car shows with them. The historical friend, crossroads friends and the part-of-a-couple friend would necessarily be the same. The cross-generational friend example could be the same or that of a father figure or younger brother sibling. The last category, men who are friends, would be women who are friends. Basically men and women have the same form of friendships that differ a little. Two examples from the essay that relate to the theme of transformation and social relationships are historical friends and crossroads friends. The historical friends category states “The years have gone by and we’ve gone separate ways and we have little in common now, but we’re still an intimate part of each other’s past”(Viorst pg.2). It shows how we can transform from who we once were yet upon seeing our friends from the past we can still have a social relationship with them. We still accept each other even though we may have grown and become different. “Like historical friends, our crossroads friends are important for what was-for the friendship we have at a crucial, now past, time of life”(Viorst pg. 2). Again, we transform and grow from the experience we are having at that time and yet we stay connected to that friendship. In each friendship that we form during our life we transform and grow from it and they become social relationships that we learn life lessons from.
The value of friendship as it relates to the self is that the friends that you choose contribute to defining you as a person. Friendships are an important part of a persons emotional development. Friendships can have a lasting effect on the type of person that you become.
ReplyDeleteFriendship as seen through Viorst’s article is broken down into specific categories. Friends are separated by the purpose that they serve. Viorst discusses convenience friends, special-interest friends, historical friends, crossroads friends, cross-generational friends, part-of-a couple friends, and men who are friends. The category of friendship mentioned by Viorst that I found to be interesting was the convenience friends. I found this category interesting because it is a category that most people experience in their lives. An example of this are friendships that are formed in school but you don’t continue the friendship outside of school.Friendship defines our sense of self because I believe that the friends we choose are a reflection of ourselves. Most people choose friends that are similar to themselves, that share the same interests, backgrounds, demographics, and values.
Viorst would have to change the categories of this essay if it was directed at young men in the same age category because young men have different types of friendships that women have with each other. Young mens friendships are not usually as personal and intimate as women’s friendships are.
An example that relates to the theme of social relationships is that Viorst was able to build a friendship with a man. This friendship belongs to her alone and is not part of two couples. An example that relates to the theme of transformation is historical friends. These friends “put us in touch with an earlier part of ourself, a part of ourself it is important never to lose” (Viorst 2). These friends helped shape and transform you as a person.
Friendship is basically a word to describe the relation between two or more people. It is actually the type of friends one has or makes in their lifetime that makes them value their relation to the other. I personally believe that there are three types of friends that we make. The first type being just a friend, a person that has the mutual feeling of liking your company, a person you can hang out with for a moment of joy. The second type being a good friend, a person who will always offer you help when you need it, bring moments of laughter just because they don’t want to see you when you’re down. They will always say the things you want to hear because they don’t want to hurt your feelings. The third type being a best friend and that is when people learn to value a real friendship. A best friend is the one who doesn’t offer help in your times of need, they just do it. They do their best to help you out, to make you laugh when you’re sad. When they know that they can’t make you laugh, they share your times of sorrow. Even though they always won’t be able to solve your problems they give you their presence making sure that you know that you don’t have to face those problems on your own. When it comes to spending time with you, they don’t need to check their schedule to see if they’re free, no questions asked, they will be there for you. A best friend will point out all your mistakes such as annoying habits, all the wrong people you choose to call and be friends with, even the person you choose to call the love of your life. Sometimes the only way to truly realize the true value of a friendship is until the times you spent with a friend becomes nothing but a memory. Being part of a social group lets you bring out the real you. You start discovering and learning things about yourself that you never knew before through your group of friends. They give you the sense of belonging where no one can stop you from being you.
ReplyDeleteIn the article “Friends, Good Friends, and Such Good Friends”, Viorst specifies all the types of friends that one can have and make in a lifetime. Each type of friend gives you a different experience and leaves a mark on your memory, a memory that is unforgettable. The category that I found really intriguing was crossroads friends. Crossroad friends are basically like a helping hand throughout the most crucial moments in your life. They pick you right back up every time you fall. I would describe them to be a sub-category of best friends. They make sure that you’re not having any trouble overcoming any obstacle that life throws at you. It’s a learning process for both people involved. The experience would help the first friend grow and mature so that you could easily be able to solve the same problem if it occurs again in the future. For the crossroad friend it gives them the personal experience to know that if that certain problem ever comes up in their life, they will know immediately what to do. It’s as if they take you under their wing, they will teach you and guide you, and when they know that you’re ready to be on your own, they let you go to go out into the world leading your own life. The only part that I dislike is that eventually you will lose contact; however, the times they spent with you will be unforgettable. They leave such a huge impact on you that they are the reason for who you become in the future, a strong independent person. Everything they do for you, you will be so grateful for, you’ll always be thinking about how would you or what could you do to repay them for everything they did.
ReplyDeleteFriendships are a great example for themes of transformation and social relationships. Without them life would be meaningless. You would wake up every day, do everything you need to do for the day, and repeat. No social contact, and when a time would come for you to socialize, you wouldn’t know what to say or do. You’d simply a socially awkward person. “A time, perhaps, when we roomed in college together; or worked as eager young singles in the Big City together; or went together, as my friend Elizabeth and I did, through pregnancy, birth and that scary first year of new motherhood” (Viorst). What she is trying to say here is that the friendship with this person named Elizabeth helped her transform her to the woman she is today, without her she’d have trouble doing anything. This can also be related to social relationships because if she ever makes a new friend that goes through the same problems as she did, she can help that person out by teaching that person from her own personal experiences; that would be a new friendship, a new bond. “My playmate is a shopping friend, a woman of marvelous taste, a woman who knows exactly where to buy what, and furthermore is a woman who always knows beyond a doubt what one ought to be buying” (Viorst). This can help with the concept of transformation because keeping up with the latest fashion trends can help you become someone new; giving yourself a new image. With social relationships, the common interest of the latest fashion trends can be the subject of a conversation when meeting someone new. Two people can just keep talking and talking about it, and eventually the conversation would lead onto new subjects, pretty soon a new friendship begins. I believe that if Viorst had directed this article towards young men the categories would be the same, although, the examples would be different. To tell the truth, males and females have different methods of interacting with others of the same gender. If this article really was directed towards young men, I strongly believe that every example for each different category would be about how one male considered another male a “brother” at one point in their life.
ReplyDeleteThe value of friendship depends on whom the friendship is shared with. A true friend is someone who means a lot to you and who you trust and share many personal things with. In life, you don’t have a lot of “true” friends. You only get a few people in your life that you can connect with deeply and share your whole life with. It’s someone you know that will always have your back and you will always have his or hers. Those relationships are valued much more then people you become friends with at work, the gym or your neighbor. Viorst explains the different types of friendships formed throughout life and as I was reading I was able to relate to most of them. The one that made me stop and think about the most was women who are friends with men. I believe women can have male friends, like myself my best friend used to be a male, but I believe these friendships don’t last long. I feel like unwanted feelings always appear in those types of friendships that ruin the relationship.
ReplyDeleteI believe friendships are a big factor in helping us identify who we are. Friends come and go and it can really show you the people you like and dislike being around. From experience I think that friends can show you who you are and how true of a friend you really are. From past friendships I realized that I would do anything for a friend and most of the time I don’t get that in return. Someone who knows you better than you know yourself is someone who is considered your best friend. For this to happen you have to spend a lot of time with that person and open up to them about personal information. When you are that close with someone they become a sense of belonging. When someone new happens in your life that makes you sad, happy, excited or any other type of emotion you look for that one person to run to and share with.
“The years have gone by and we've gone separate ways and we have little in common now, but we're still an intimate part of each other's past” (Judith, 2). Throughout transformations in life friendships do tend to grow apart from each other. But with certain people those friendships still stay present. Judith says how after the friendship grows away they still stay as a small part in each other’s life. “Crossroads friends forge powerful links, links strong enough to endure with not much more contact than once-a-year letters at Christmas. And out of respect for those crossroads years, for those dramas and dreams we once shared, we will always be friends” (Judith, 2). This is also another example of how the way social relationships change due to transformations. Even though things have changed, they shared so much personal information that their bond could never be broken. They may not be as close anymore or see each other as often but the relationship will always be there.
"Friendship...is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything" (Muhammad Ali). To summarize, these words spoken by Ali are attempting to imply the significance of a relationship. Every single human on this planet has a friendship of some kind. Whether it is an imaginary friend or a real living person, a friendship of some sort is still present. As a human, friendships are a natural occurrence involved within our role on this planet. Even though humans must physically approach a person to begin a friendship, this approach is almost involuntary because of our human will to associate with others.
ReplyDeleteIn the reading, "Friends, Good Friends and Such Good Friends," Judith Viorst describes Friendships in a very intriguing and unique perspective. To explain, Viorst categorizes friendships based on certain aspects. "I once would have said that a friend is a friend all the way, but now I believe thats a narrow point of view. For the friendships I have and the friendships I see are conduced at many levels of intensity, serve many different functions, meet different needs, and range from those as all-the-way as the friendship of the soul sisters mentioned above to that of the most nonchalant casual playmates" (Viorst 1). According to Viorst, a friendship is a bond that one has with somebody but these bonds are unique and come in all different "shapes and sizes." An interesting category of friendships that Viorst wrote about was the category of "convenience friends." In my life, my next door neighbor and I's relationship is a perfect example of a "convenience friend" friendship. My neighbor is four years older than I am and we are solely friends because our houses practically touch. My neighbor and I do favors for each other such as lending each other a basketball, a football, or even the entire basketball hoop! It is insightful and interesting to see that People such at Viorst actually spot and locate common patterns with friendships and then categorize them into an organized structure.
I believe friendships are a tool that can be easily used to define oneself. Friendships in our society have a common similarity. To elaborate, humans across the world search for unique qualities in a friend. The qualities humans search for are the unique qualities that resemble them as a person. For example, a person with blonde hair who likes basketball may befriend a person because they have blonde hair and like basketball. We can often see humans gravitating to people that are like themselves, who resemble who they are as a person.
If Viorst decided to change the categories and direction of the essay to that of males; I do not believe anything would have to be changed. To explain, I believe Viorst's details and examples can easily be detected in any friendship around the world. Personally, I applied many examples that Viorst stated to real friendships in my life and she was very accurate.
1. "And we might tell a very good friend that the reason we got so mad in that fight that we slept on the couch had something to do with that girl who words in his office. But it is only to our best friends that we are willing to tell what's going on with that girl in his office" (Viorst 1).
ReplyDelete1. This quote can relate to the theme of transformation and social relationships. To elaborate, this quote has to do with trust and friendships. For a good friend, one may tell some part of a story do to trust and the intensity of the friendship. When it comes to best friends, one has trusted this person to tell them anything because they are in a trustworthy intense friendship.
2. "Women are friends, I once would have said, when they totally love and support and trust each other, and bare to each other the secrets of their souls, and run - no questions asked - to help each other, and tell harsh truths to each other" (Viorst 1).
2. This quote is also relatable to self transformation and social relationships. For example, this quote states that one puts so much trust in a friendship that they often accept criticism from that friend. Criticism from a random person will not change someone but criticism from a best friend may change and alter their views on a certain aspect.
Reflecting upon the countless friendships and acquaintances I’ve accumulated over the past twenty-two years, I can’t help but to recall a sound piece of wisdom I received several years ago. I was told that if in the course of my entire lifetime I was able to acquire five true friends then I was an incredibly lucky and blessed man and after reading Judith Viorst’s article “Friends, Good Friends, and Such Good Friends”, this advice has never rang more true. The ability to undoubtedly label another individual as friend is one of the most difficult proclamations one can make, as countless factors must be in place; a undying level of trust, impeccably perpetual morals, a consistent degree of honesty and integrity, and an eternal amount of loyalty and devotion through the brightest days and the darkest nights. All of these stars must be in alignment at all times on both ends of the spectrum and as difficult as it may be to give these to another it is that much more difficult to receive them, as the means by which we interpret, receive, and utilize another’s friendship is a direct reflection of how we perceive ourselves, measure our self-worth, and influence and affect others. External and internal factors may play a significant role from time-to-time in how we value a friendship and in my eyes if these facets attribute a large deal of influence over the power that a true relationship and bond have over two individuals then perhaps it is not a true friendship but rather a sub-category of such in the form of a close acquaintance, peer, or associate.
ReplyDeleteViorst’s article delineates an incredibly well-rounded analysis of friendship as it pertains to the context through which it is acquired and interpreted by both parties. Unfortunately, I found her sub-categories to be rather repetitive not so much in the individual description of each, but rather the overall motif that is generated in the grand-scheme. In my eyes, a friendship is defined as an undying relationship that exists between two or more individuals in which the foundation is built upon trust, loyalty, honesty, integrity, devotion, empathy, and compassion and furthered fueled by a common bond that is reflection of each other’s moral code, ethical values, self-esteem and self-worth, and overall reflection of how they view themselves and retrospectively how others view them. The subcategories that Viorst mentions, such as convenience friends, special interest friends, part-of-a-couple friends, historical friends, and crossroad friends, describe a more superficial relationship in which the level of interaction is sincere on the surface but quickly fades once the initial interest or purpose for its existence fades; essentially, these bonds are more of how acquaintances may interact with each other that on the surface may appear to be a pleasant bond where both parties enjoy each other’s company, but there is no true spark between the two once you delve deeper into the bond. True friends give off a certain inherent energy that is apparent, that can be felt and harnessed by others because it is a natural, organic relationship comprised of genuine feeling and emotion that need not be forced or fabricated. I was intrigued, however by cross-generation friendships due to their sincere nature- it demonstrates that age is solely just a number and in order for this type of friendship to exist there must be a true, authentic level of benevolence between the two parties and that is a bond that can never be forged. Both parties must also be confident in themselves as individuals due to the fact that society tends to deem these type of relationships as a bit socially unacceptable or inappropriate and therefore it takes a special unification of people to form this time of bond- which again, as previously stated, is a direct reflection of how one views themselves and influences their self-worth and level of self-esteem.
Viorst elects to primarily focus this particular piece through the feminine lens, and rightfully so as being a woman, this is how she has always been forced to view her life. However, I personally don’t believe that this piece may be any bit different. As a total human population, we share certain natural life experiences- birth, death, marriage, families, careers, and friendships. In the grand scheme, and in regard to Viorst’s analysis, these certain types of friendships are nondiscriminatory in nature and hold no gender biases; for example two females engaged in a special interest friendship may bond over yoga class whereas two males may be training partners at the gym, or perhaps two females labeled as crossroad friends may be have been unified as part of a book club while two males may have have been college roommates. The nature of the friendship is individualized, as all are based on the personalities and life experiences of the two parties, but the method by which the friendship exists is neutral in regard to gender specification. Humans share the same inherent and basic feelings and emotions and these are the building blocks upon which relationships are built; they are influenced by those inherent and basic life experiences and together they form a relationship all the same, regardless of gender.
ReplyDeleteAs it relates to social identity and the social self, friendships play an immense role in how we as individuals may adapt to new relationships and our roles in them as well as our views on how we perceive others and ourselves. Viorst describes how “In our daughter role we tend to do more than our share of self-revelation; in our mother role we tend to receive what’s revealed. It is another kid of pleasure-playing wise mother to a questing younger person…” What Viorst is attempting to relay to the reader is that in cross-generation friendships, the elder is attempting to pass their wisdom and knowledge on to a younger audience and grant them the benefit of their mistakes and experiences; conversely, the younger party is acquiring this knowledge, analyzing and implementing it into their daily lives, and growing internally as well as externally from an emotional and spiritual standpoint in order to one day be able to become that elder party and pass their knowledge and wisdom onto another younger individual and the cycle continues. A large part of this particular friendship relies on self-reflection and humility, as the younger party must be open to and accepting of the wisdom of another who has walked life’s path and the elder must be accepting of cultural differences and shifts that have taken place as generations have passed. Viorst also states, in regards to bi-gender friendships, that “We have found we have things to talk about that are different from what he talks about with my husband and different from what I talk about with his wife…but there is also something tender and caring too…”. This is an incredibly powerful description of how delicate a relationship between a man and woman can be based on societal expectations and what is deemed to be acceptable. These types of relationships force one to be in touch with their ethics and morals as all times more-so than any other relationship because they are largely influenced and sparked by societal taboo and frowned upon based on false assumptions and unwavering insecurities. These friendships also force individuals to remain in touch with the feelings and emotions of another as well as their spouse and/or significant other and constantly require us to walk in the shoes of another so that in the future should the roles be reverse we can be able to understand, establish trust, and accept friendships that our significant other may have with individuals of the opposite gender. Friendships require a tremendous amount of trust and this form truly makes us evaluate ourselves from a moral, ethical, and honorable point of view that we may not generally view ourselves through in same gender friendships.